The Secret to NOT being a Dry Texter

Don’t be a dry texter. In this article, I’m going to teach you how to text to have even your crush obsessed.

Ever shot a girl you just met “Just had the best coffee ever!” only to have them respond “Cool” when she could have said “Yeah? Where from?”

The thing is, you don’t even need to go all out with high energy or poetic lines, especially when you’re just starting to text someone.

But one small tweak is hardly insignificant in keeping the conversation from flatlining.

Instead of just dropping, ‘Just had the best coffee ever,’ how about trying, ‘Just had the best coffee—can’t decide if it’s the coffee or the excitement that that movie I told you about is premiering tonight. You ever have a coffee place that just clicks?’

Why Are You a Dry Texter?

Dry texters are dry texters because they get stuck in their own heads, overthinking every single word they type.

You’re probably worried about saying the wrong thing or coming on too strong, you end up self-editing until your texts are just stiff and dull. That’s classic dry texter behavior right there.

And you might not even be boring in real life, but if you’re holding back, you’re not letting yourself be interesting in text.

It’s likely you often haven’t found their rhythm with texting.

Maybe you’re the life of the party in person, but when it comes to typing out your thoughts, you freeze up.

It’s like handing a brilliant artist a tool they’ve never worked with before—it’s just not clicking for you.

But honestly, a lot of dry texters just don’t care enough to put effort into a text convo. If texting feels like a chore, you’re not going to bring any energy to it.

And that’s why you end up getting ghosted—because you simply don’t value the interaction enough to bother making it interesting.

Dry texters might also be over-exerting in real life. If your social battery is drained from face-to-face interactions, texting might feel like just one more thing you have to force enthusiasm for.

This exhaustion can make you a dry texter because you’re running on empty.

Or maybe you’re addicted to the rush of instant gratification. Dry texters often seek quick hits of dopamine from social media or dating apps and don’t want to invest in the slow build of a text conversation.

You’re a dry texter because you’ve trained yourself to seek the next new thing rather than invest in a conversation that takes time to develop.

Some dry texters are stuck in the past. If you’re still hung up on someone else, no new conversation can hold your interest because your mind is elsewhere. You’re a dry texter because every text feels like a distraction from your nostalgia.

And it could be that you think texting is beneath you. If you view texting as juvenile or not worth your time, you’re not going to put in the effort. That’s why you’re a dry texter—you think texting isn’t something you should have to work at.

You’re reading this, so you’ve obviously picked up on the fact that your texts might be boring. You’re not clueless—you know that one-word answers or dead-end statements kill the vibe.

Dry texters don’t think about how the other person feels when they’re texting.

They’re too caught up in their own thoughts, worrying about what they want to say—or what they don’t want to say—without considering how to keep the chat alive for the other person. It’s a lack of thoughtfulness, plain and simple.

Dry texters care more about their own comfort than about having a good conversation.

And let’s be real, maybe you’re just not that into her or the conversation. Your lack of texting enthusiasm isn’t a quirk if you’re a dry texter.

How to Get Out of Your Head When You Text so You Can Be Anything but a Dry Texter

Stop treating every text like it’s a test with a right or wrong answer. No one’s grading you, and there’s no script to follow.

When you’re overthinking, the first response that pops into your head is often the most authentic. Type it out without judging or analyzing it too much.

Your brain is wired for efficiency. When you receive a message, countless cognitive processes kick in almost instantaneously: recognizing the words, understanding the context, retrieving relevant memories, and formulating a response. The first response that bubbles up is often a culmination of these subconscious processes, distilled into a raw, unfiltered reaction. By choosing to trust this initial impulse, you’re tapping into a more authentic part of your mind that hasn’t been clouded by second-guessing or societal expectations.

Texting, in a way, is about revealing bits of yourself. The more you edit yourself, the less “you” there is in the conversation. That first thought, while it might seem too simple or even a little rough, is often a true glimpse into your natural voice, humor, or personality.

• Here’s a sneaky secret to start: notice which part of their text actually interests you. Even if it’s a random detail, run with that.

Every message someone sends usually has multiple layers. There are usually a few details, ideas, or words that stand out more than others.

I know it sounds like something your grandma might say, but seriously—shift your brain’s gears from “What do I say?” to “What stands out to me about this text?”

When you focus on that one piece and build your response around it, you’re responding with genuine interest. This eliminates the pressure to come up with a perfect reply.

You start to build curiosity naturally. You’re focused on uncovering more about that one aspect, which keeps your attention in the present moment.

If they mentioned a funny incident at work, for instance, you can focus on the part of their story that caught your eye (“Oh no, what did your manager say?”) instead of feeling obligated to come up with your own story about work.

Let’s say they text you: “I’ve been thinking about finally starting a TikTok. I just have no idea where to begin!”

A lot of people might overthink their response, worrying about sounding knowledgeable or helpful. Instead, just notice the part that actually catches your attention.

If it’s “Tiktok,” you could respond with, “That’s awesome! What kind of content are you into?” Or if it’s “no idea where to begin,” you could say, “Haha, yeah, content creation feels like a lot at first—what’s stopping you?”

• Why are you so worried about coming off as clever or funny?

The moment you stop trying to be impressive, you’ll find your texts flow way easier.

Think about it like this: your best moments in life probably aren’t the ones you planned out in advance, right?

From an early age, we all picked up hints and lessons on how to act right, absorbing cues from everything and everyone around us.

This conditioned us to seek validation when we’re “right” and to fear correction when we’re “wrong.” So, even in texting, we can feel anxious about saying the “right” thing and avoiding the “wrong” one.

The pressure to come across as funny or smart often stems from a deeper need to avoid negative consequences we may have faced when we were “wrong” growing up—whether that was feeling dismissed, rejected, or even abandoned.

In texting, we’re often chasing the reassurance that we’re saying the right thing, hoping it’ll earn us acceptance, interest, or a positive reaction, which keeps that self-consciousness in play.

Unlike spoken words that disappear, texts are written records.

Maybe the idea that someone could scroll back and re-read your messages makes you want to make sure they sound good every time.

The permanence of texts can make you feel like every message represents you in some way, adding a pressure to make each one “count” by being witty or impressive.

Or it could just be how when you’re not face-to-face, it’s harder to read the other person’s immediate reactions,so it makes you second-guess your message.

Uncertainty can trigger a need to “overdeliver” with humor or intelligence as a way to cover all bases, ensuring the person finds something positive in what you said.

• You can always pause.

You know that feeling when you stare at the screen, fingers hovering, because you’re trying to come up with the perfect response? Don’t.

You’re just caught up in the pressure to keep the conversation going, even if you don’t have anything authentic to say in that moment.

There’s often an unspoken rule in texting that silence or pauses might be “bad,” so we try to avoid them by filling the gap—even if it means forcing a response we don’t fully mean.

In these moments, you’re not necessarily texting because you have something to say, but because you feel you should respond to maintain momentum.

It’s like running on autopilot, where you’re responding just to keep things moving.

This pressure leads to half-hearted replies, unnecessary small talk, or even fake enthusiasm, which ultimately drains you and can make the whole conversation feel forced.

So, when you’re in that state of mind, it’s not that you’re texting from a place of genuine interest.

Instead, you’re texting out of obligation to avoid silence, which can make it hard to be fully yourself in the conversation.

Taking a pause here helps break that cycle, letting you come back when you actually do have something real to add.

Give yourself permission to pause and come back to it. Sometimes stepping away for a second lets your brain chill out, and when you return, you’ll find that the pressure’s lifted, and the words just roll out.

And then if you’re about to overthink, pause and think, How would I say this if I were only 80% serious? This turns down the mental volume and makes you focus on just being relaxed.

• The best way I can think of to help is texting like you’re talking to yourself.

Sounds weird, I know, but think about it. When you’re alone with your thoughts, you’re not overthinking every word.

You’re just letting them flow. Text like that. Imagine you’re having the conversation in your head and then just type out what you’d naturally think or say.

Lastly, forget about where the conversation is heading or how they might interpret your words. Texting, like life, is a series of small moments. If you’re too focused on the next step, you’ll trip over the one you’re on.

So stay in the now—send the text that feels right for this moment, and let the rest unfold naturally.

To get out of your head when you text is, not forcing yourself to be different, but, giving yourself a break.

• If that feels too complicated, pretend this is the only time you’ll talk to this person. The more fleeting it feels, the easier it is to just reply without worry.

21 ways to quit being a dry texter?

To quit the lazy texter habit you have to shift your mindset.

This isn’t about turning every text into a Shakespearean sonnet; you have to get to a place where texting doesn’t feel like work.

1 – Never Finish the Story in One Text
Tell only part of your story—enough to get them invested, then wait for them to ask for more. This pulls them into the conversation without you giving everything away.

2 – Turn Questions Into Challenges
Instead of “How was your day?” go with something offbeat like, “I bet your day was at least a 7.5/10… prove me wrong?” It’s a twist on the usual check-in and makes the convo interactive.

3 – Mirror Their Message Length, but Slightly More/less
Whatever length they text, go a bit shorter or longer, just to throw in a tiny rhythm shift. It’s like a sync that’s just off enough to keep them intrigued.

4 – Send a Text Without Context
If you’ve talked about something random before, text something about it out of the blue, like, “By the way, I still think pineapple on pizza is criminal.” It’s a bold conversation starter and catches them off guard.

5 – Craft a Double-Take Text
Send something that makes them reread, like, “Just adopted a llama… or maybe a cactus.” The unexpected juxtaposition pulls them in and sets a playful tone.

6 – Randomly Send a “Good Luck Text”
Out of nowhere, text “Good luck!” with no context and let them freak out. Then reply with, “Just felt like you could use some positive vibes.” It’s unexpected, charming, and shows you’re thinking of them.

7 – Invent an Inside Joke
Reference something that’s happened between you and act like it’s an established joke. Over time, this becomes a unique thing just for the two of you.

8 – Use a “Text Cliffhanger”
Say something like, “Remind me to tell you the craziest thing later…” then go silent for a bit. It’s light torture, but they’ll be on edge to know what happened.

9 – Text Like You’re Already Talking to Them in Real Life
Send texts as if you’re mid-conversation, like, “You know what I mean?” or “And then guess what happened.” It makes your texts feel real-time and spontaneous.

10 – Unexpectedly Flip Tone
Switch from casual to overly formal or overly excited, like, “I simply cannot BELIEVE that you just said that!” It’s dramatic, over-the-top, and low-key funny.

11 – Set Up a Future Scenario
Randomly text something like, “When we’re old, I’m totally going to remind you of this.” It throws them into a mental scene of you two together in the future.

12 – Add Weird Specifics That Sound Real
Instead of saying “I had a coffee,” say, “I had this super bitter macchiato that made me question my life choices.” Specifics make even mundane things sound way more interesting.

13 – Send Texts That Are ‘Character-Building’
Describe your day or something you’re doing in a way that builds a picture of who you are, like, “Took ten minutes to choose a toothpaste today… what does that say about me?”

14 – Pretend Like They Missed Something Amazing
Text, “Omg you missed it!” without context, and watch them reply in a hurry. It’s low-key playful and adds suspense.

15 – Make Your Responses a 3-Act Structure
Break a single thought into three parts to create mini suspense: “So… guess what?” … “No, really, you won’t believe it.” … “I got the last cinnamon roll at the bakery!”

16 – Use Old-School Phrasing Ironically
Text like you’re in a Victorian novel: “Henceforth, you shall address me as ‘Lord of All Cinnamon Rolls.’” It’s quirky, funny, and makes the convo feel unique.

17 – Unnecessary Fact-Check Texts
Text something random and pretend you just had to fact-check it, like, “Did you know you can’t sneeze with your eyes open?” It’s so out of the blue that it keeps them wondering what’s next.

18 – Add a ‘Behind the Scenes’ Comment
If they text you something big, say, “Omg, I wish you could see my face right now.” It adds a layer that makes them imagine your reaction.

19 – Randomly Give Them a Texting Challenge
Like, “Reply using only emojis,” or, “Explain how your day went in six words.” It keeps things interactive and fun without just waiting for the convo to pick up.

20 – Send a “Last Seen Here” Text
If there’s a lull in the convo, text, “Last seen being mysterious and interesting.” It’s cheeky and funny, and reminds them you’re still around without coming off needy.

21 – Be Randomly Sentimental
Hit them with, “Just so you know, I think you’re awesome.” Out of the blue, but lowkey unforgettable. It stands out and makes them feel good without needing a reason.

21 ways to use texting and social media apps to avoid coming across as a dry texter

1. Use Your Own Emojis—But Sparingly.

Create a unique emoji pattern or sequence (e.g., 🌘🍂✨ for night owl vibes) and make it your signature, so people instantly recognize when you’ve posted. Dropping it at unexpected times keeps it mysterious and memorable.

2. Post “Moments in Process” Pics.

Skip the usual polished pics. Instead, post something in the middle of a process—a half-eaten meal, an open book with a pencil on it, a sunset before it peaks. Let people fill in the blanks.

3. Leave Questions Unanswered.

Make posts or stories that start a question or curious thought, but leave it hanging. Let people itch to comment or DM you with, “Wait, what happened next?”

4. Post a Micro-Rant with a Surprising Twist.

Share a mini-vent (like the frustration of finding socks with holes) and then spin it in a funny or unexpected way, so it’s equal parts relatable and clever.

5. Use an “Old-School” Captioning Style on the Sly.

Caption things like it’s the early internet era: use dot-dot-dot endings, capital letters for EMPHASIS, or early text-style humor. It throws people off in a good way.

6. “Challenge” Your Followers to Share Secrets (in DMs)

Occasionally post something like, “Tell me a secret no one knows; I won’t judge.” People love the anonymity, and you get an influx of raw, real connections, even if you keep it all private.

7. Use Mysterious Sign-Offs on Stories.

End your story with something like, “More on that later…” or “Ask me why I’m laughing.” It’s oddly compelling and invites people to engage without begging for it.

8. Turn “Annoying Things” into Hilarious Polls.

Make a poll about the stuff that grates on you (or everyone) but with a quirky twist—“Most annoying sound: chewing or slurping?” These real-life mini-polls pull everyone in, and people love weighing in.

9. Turn Off Your “Last Seen” for Drama.

Leave people wondering. You go from a “reliable texter” to “mysterious energy.” Not seeing a timestamp on you lets your replies feel intentional rather than on-demand.

10. Create a Fake Alter Ego and Post in That Persona Now and Then.

Have a completely ridiculous alter ego you bring out randomly on stories or in comments. Let “they” respond to friends’ posts for a twist in tone that adds layers to your persona.

11. Curate Your “Saved” Posts and Use Them Later for Micro-Insights.

Regularly post cool things from your “saved” tab and caption them with why they stuck with you. It gives people a peek into your mind’s vibe, and it’s endlessly fascinating.

12. Use Audio Clips of Background Noise.

For a fresh angle, instead of music or voice notes, record audio of background noises—birds chirping, rain, street chatter—and add it to a chill image. It’s peaceful and unique, and it instantly feels personal.

13. Set Up a Weekly “Topic Night” in Group Chats.

Pick a niche topic every week and post it for discussion in your group chat or as a story, like “Weirdest food you’ve ever tried,” and let people take the reins. It’s a simple way to stand out and add intrigue to basic chats.

14. Use Cryptic Comments on People’s Posts.

Go for intriguing (but not too obvious) comments that leave others scratching their heads: “Ah, the red scarf vibes…” It’s vague, funny, and memorable without sounding try-hard.

15. Invent Your Own “Fake” Life Events to Share Casually.

Post absurd and clearly fake updates once in a blue moon like, “Just got certified as an astronaut 🧑‍🚀👀 #bucketlist,” and then leave it there. People will be amused and mildly confused, guaranteed.

16. Make “Mood Boards” from Out-of-Context Quotes.

Share random quotes from chats or old convos without any explanation. They don’t need context to spark curiosity, and it creates a mini story in people’s minds.

17. Refuse to Caption Selfies at Least Half the Time.

Post pictures of yourself with no context or a single emoji, like a period. It makes it impossible to read your mood—people have to guess and engage if they want to know.

18. Start a Long, Rambling Story with No Plot.

Begin an elaborate story in the middle of nowhere (like on a Friday night), then drop it after two sentences. Add something like, “Ah, never mind. It’s a long story.” It’s an amusing non-update that still feels oddly personal.

19. Experiment with Completely Different Aesthetics for 24 Hours.

Switch up your look or posting style just for a day—grunge, preppy, neon visuals, etc. Do it without comment, then go back to normal. People will start wondering what’s next.

20. Use Unfinished Sentences in Captions.

Leave captions mid-thought, like “And that’s how I realized…” People have no idea what’s next but might throw in comments, asking for the rest.

21. Respond to Stories with Single, Quirky Words.

Instead of emojis, reply to others’ stories with completely random words, like “butterflies” or “coincidence.” It’s unexpected, memorable, and will have people laughing or puzzled.

The point of applying those rules is simple: you want to be the person everyone’s curious about without begging for attention. It’s about breaking the monotony.

People get bored quickly online, and if you’re predictable, you’re invisible. You don’t need to be “on” all the time—just throw in enough quirks to keep things interesting.

No one’s drawn to the person who follows every trend, who posts the same stuff everyone else does. They want the unexpected.

Mystery doesn’t mean you’re hiding something, it means you’re creating a space where others can imagine more, think more, and engage more.

You’re not just another feed filler. You’re the person that gets people thinking, commenting, wondering what’s next. That’s where the real fun and intrigue come from.