You can get anyone to love your ideas if you know exactly what to look for in their demeanor right before you pitch, and right after. People will be more open to your idea if they think it’s THEIR idea.
Share your idea, but then step back and let them react without additional input. Sometimes, giving them space to think can make them feel like the idea is evolving in their own mind.
People aren’t always open to new ideas because it can be uncomfortable.
If you’ve believed something for years, and suddenly someone comes along with a different perspective, it’s like they’re poking at something you’re really familiar with, and that can feel unsettling.
A big part of it is how we naturally look for information that confirms what we already believe. It’s like sticking with what feels safe and known. Plus, sometimes our ideas are tied up with our sense of self, so when they’re challenged, it can feel personal, almost like an attack.
There’s also the fear of change.
New ideas often mean things might shift, and not everyone is up for that. Change can be scary because it’s uncertain, and people like to know what to expect.
Then there’s the social side of things. In groups, people tend to stick with the consensus because going against the grain can be tough. It’s easier to agree and keep the peace than to challenge the norm.
So, it’s a mix of wanting to feel secure, avoiding discomfort, and not wanting to shake things up too much. But once people feel safe and respected, they’re usually more open to considering new perspectives.
When someone cuts you off, it’s almost like they’re sending you signals, even if they don’t realize it. These signals can tell you what’s really going on in their head, beyond what they’re saying. Let’s break it down.
First Reaction
If they cut you off and jump straight into their own point, it’s a strong indicator that they’re really attached to their own ideas.
This could mean they see your idea as a threat to what they believe, or they just feel more comfortable sticking with what they know.
If their response is sharp or dismissive, it might be that they’re protecting their ego. They might see their ideas as a part of who they are, so challenging those ideas can feel like challenging them as a person.
Body Language Breakdown
Body language is like this silent communicator that’s constantly giving you hints. Here’s what to look for:
- Arms crossed: This classic move is a big sign of defensiveness or discomfort. They might be closing themselves off to what you’re saying because it feels safer to stay in their bubble. But here’s the thing—look for subtle variations. If their arms are crossed, but their grip on their arms is tight, they’re probably feeling more anxious or threatened than they’re letting on.
- Leaning back: When someone leans back, especially if it’s combined with crossed arms, it’s a way of distancing themselves from the conversation. It’s like they’re physically trying to get away from the idea you’re presenting. They might feel like your idea is too challenging or too different from what they’re comfortable with.
- Fidgeting: If they’re fidgeting—tapping their fingers, playing with a pen, shifting in their seat—it’s usually a sign of discomfort. They might be nervous about where the conversation is heading or about the implications of your idea. But here’s where it gets interesting: pay attention to what they’re fidgeting with. If they’re messing with something personal, like a ring or a watch, it could mean that the topic is hitting closer to home than you might think.
- Eye contact: Lack of eye contact can signal avoidance, but there’s more nuance here. If they keep looking away or down, they might be trying to avoid engaging with the idea because it makes them uncomfortable. But if they’re glancing around the room or checking their phone, it could be more about impatience or disinterest—they might feel like they already know what they want to say, and they’re just waiting for their turn to speak.
Subtle Clues You Might Miss
- Breathing: People’s breathing patterns can change when they’re feeling tense or stressed. If you notice their breathing getting shallow or faster, it’s a sign that something about the conversation is making them uneasy. It’s a subtle cue, but it can tell you that they’re not as okay with the discussion as they might be pretending to be.
- Hands and fingers: Hands can be really expressive. If someone’s hands are clenched or their fingers are tightly interlocked, it’s a sign of tension. On the other hand, if their fingers are drumming on the table or they’re rubbing their hands together, it might be nervous energy—like they’re unsure about how to handle what you’re saying.
- Microexpressions: These are the quick, fleeting expressions that flash across someone’s face before they have time to mask their feelings. They might frown or their eyes might widen for just a split second. These tiny reactions can reveal their true feelings before they put on a more controlled expression.
Asking Gentle Questions
When they cut you off, and you ask something like, “I noticed you seem pretty firm on this—what’s your take?” you’re opening the door for them to express what’s really going on. Depending on how they respond, you can get a better read on whether they’re feeling threatened, anxious, or just resistant to change.
How you can approach it, with a bit of a strategy
First off, make them feel like they’re in a non-threatening environment. People are more open when they feel safe and respected. You can start by acknowledging their perspective: “I totally get where you’re coming from,” or “I see why you feel that way.” This doesn’t mean you agree with them, but it shows you’re not there to attack them. It’s about easing them into the conversation.
If they’re tense or defensive, mirror.
This isn’t about copying them, but more about subtly matching their tone or pace. If they’re speaking quickly and sharply, start at a similar pace and then gradually slow down. This can help bring their energy down a notch and make them more receptive to what you’re saying. It’s like leading them to a calmer place without them even realizing it.
Find something you both agree on
Even if it’s small. “We both want what’s best here,” or “I think we both see the value in X.” This helps to build a bridge between your perspectives. When they see that you’re not entirely on opposite sides, they might be more willing to meet you halfway.
Instead of pushing your idea directly, …
…ask questions that make them think about their own stance. For example, “What do you think would happen if we tried this approach?” or “How do you see this playing out in the long run?” These questions aren’t confrontational, but they encourage them to reconsider their position without feeling attacked.
We connect with stories on an emotional level.
If you can, share a personal story or an anecdote that relates to your idea. “You know, I once thought the same thing until I experienced XYZ…” This can soften their stance because stories aren’t just about facts—they’re about experiences, and those are harder to argue with.
As you’re talking, watch for any small changes in their body language or tone.
If they uncross their arms, lean in a little, or start to ask questions of their own, these are signs that you’re making progress. When you notice these shifts, keep going in that direction. It means you’re starting to break through.
This is a technique from improv, but it works wonders in conversation.
Instead of saying “but,” which can feel dismissive, use “and.” For example, “Yes, I see your point, and here’s another perspective to consider.” It acknowledges their view while also gently introducing your own. It’s collaborative rather than confrontational.
Sometimes, we just want to feel heard.
If they keep cutting you off, let them speak their piece. Give them space to fully express themselves, and when they’re done, you can say, “I really appreciate you sharing that. Can I tell you a bit more about where I’m coming from?” This approach makes them feel respected and more willing to listen in return.
No matter how the conversation goes, try to wrap it up with something positive.
“I’m glad we had this conversation, I think it helped us both see things a bit differently.” This leaves the door open for future discussions and shows that you value their input, even if you don’t completely agree.
Not every barrier can be broken down in one conversation.
Sometimes, it’s about planting seeds and giving them time to think things over. If you’ve been respectful, thoughtful, and patient, they might come around to your idea later, even if they don’t seem receptive right away.
Although, people are naturally drawn to confidence…
Instead of explaining why your idea is great, show why. People are more convinced by results than by arguments.
When you present your idea, do it with enthusiasm and certainty. If you believe in what you’re saying, they’re more likely to believe in it too. Confidence is contagious.
And don’t overcomplicate your idea with too much detail. Get straight to the point and make it relatable to their experience. If they can easily see how it benefits them or aligns with what they care about, they’re more likely to get on board.
Make it clear what’s in it for them. Whether it’s saving time, making something easier, or helping them achieve a goal, focus on the benefits. People are more likely to support an idea if they see a direct advantage for themselves.
People appreciate realness. Don’t try to sugarcoat things or be overly diplomatic. Just be yourself, and be straightforward. If they feel like you’re being genuine, they’re more likely to trust you and your ideas.
Make them feel like they’re part of the idea. Instead of presenting it as a finished product, ask for their input or suggestions. When people feel like they’ve contributed, they’re more invested in the success of the idea.
A little humor can go a long way. It lightens the mood and makes the conversation more enjoyable. If you can make them smile while discussing your idea, they’re more likely to have positive feelings towards it.
Sometimes, less is more. If you sense resistance, don’t push too hard. Back off and give them time to think about it. People don’t like to feel pressured, and giving them space can actually make them more open to your idea later.
Sneaky dark psychology for people to love your ideas…
BASICS
Introduce the Problem First
Start by discussing a problem or challenge that everyone agrees needs solving. This sets the stage and makes them more open to considering solutions.
Make It Their Problem
Subtly frame the problem as something that affects them personally or something they care about. When people feel personally invested, they’re more motivated to find a solution.
Suggest It Indirectly
Casually mention your idea as something you heard about or read somewhere. “I heard about this approach that some people are trying—it might work for us, too.” This makes it seem less like you’re pushing your own idea and more like you’re sharing something intriguing.
Plant the Seed in Multiple Conversations
Bring up elements of your idea in different conversations, not all at once. Over time, these pieces will start to fit together in their mind, and they might think they came up with it themselves.
Get Allies On Board
Quietly pitch your idea to others in the group or team first. If they’re on board, they can help advocate for it, making it seem like a consensus rather than just your idea.
Position It as the Next Logical Step
Frame your idea as the natural next step based on what’s already happening or what’s been discussed. “Since we’re already doing X, wouldn’t Y be a logical move?”
Use Authority or Social Proof
If there’s an expert or influential person who supports something similar to your idea, mention that. “I saw that [respected person] is doing something like this. It seems to be working well.”
Let Them Take Credit
When they start to warm up to the idea, encourage their involvement and subtly step back. “I think you’re really onto something here—how do you see it working out?” This gives them ownership, making them more likely to love and champion it.
Normalize the Idea
Talk about your idea as if it’s already becoming the norm elsewhere. “It seems like a lot of places are moving towards this approach—it’s really catching on.”
There’s ‘enthusiastic’, and then there’s ‘Overbearing‘
Show genuine excitement about the possibilities your idea offers, but don’t overwhelm them. Let your enthusiasm be contagious without coming across as pushy.
ADVANCED
Persuasion involves more than just presenting an idea—sometimes it’s about subtly guiding others to embrace it as their own. To achieve this, you need a blend of creativity and psychological insight.
Reverse Engineering
Start by praising a similar idea they’ve had in the past. Then, subtly point out how your idea builds on that success. “Remember how well your idea about X worked out? This new approach could be an extension of that success.”
Compliment and Influence
When discussing your idea, give them compliments on their expertise or insight. Then, casually tie their qualities to the idea. “You always have such great insights into X. I think your approach could work wonders with this new concept.”
Play the Curiosity Card
Frame your idea as an intriguing puzzle or challenge for them to solve. “I’ve been thinking about this concept and I’m curious about your take on it. How do you think it could be applied here?”
Use “Sneak Preview” Technique
Share a snippet of your idea in a way that makes them curious. “I’m working on something that’s similar to what we discussed last week. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.” This makes them more inclined to engage with and take ownership of the idea.
The “Unintentional Seed”
Bring up a related but less developed idea in casual conversation. Let it linger for a while, then later introduce your more polished idea. They might combine the two and feel it’s their own innovation.
Create a “Personalized” Approach
Tailor your idea to align with their personal goals or interests. Present it as something that could specifically benefit them. “I know you’ve been focused on X. This idea could be a great fit for what you’re working on.”
Strategic Silence
Share your idea, but then step back and let them react without additional input. Sometimes, giving them space to think can make them feel like the idea is evolving in their own mind.
Use Historical Context
Reference historical examples or successful cases that are similar to your idea. “In the past, companies that adopted X approach saw significant improvements. What do you think about applying something similar here?”
Frame It as a “Collaborative Discovery”
When discussing the idea, present it as a joint discovery rather than a new proposal. “We’ve been exploring a few options, and this seems like a promising direction we could take together.”
Create a “Social Proof” Scenario
Mention how others are finding success with similar ideas in a casual way. “I was reading about how several successful teams are implementing this concept. It seems to be making a big difference for them.”
These strategies help you subtly guide others to adopt and love your idea while feeling like they arrived at it independently. It’s about creating the right conditions for them to embrace your idea without feeling pressured.
