1. Text Her Within 1 Hour Of Meeting Her
The dating ‘rule’ that you must wait three days to text a girl after you meet is all wrong and you’re lucky you’re learning it before you ruin something that’s just meant to be. Girls expect men to text them immediately they go back to their lives right after meeting them, so within an hour of meeting is too much time actually.
Why is that? It’s obvious; it’s incredibly easy to text or call or facetime or DM. So if you wait much longer than one hour to text her, she’ll think you aren’t interested and then she’ll lose interest. And then if you finally text her like ten hours later, she’ll think you’re playing games, so she’ll never take you seriously.
If you want to make her feel like you really want to talk to her, then by all means, talk to her.
Starter texts to send a girl when you first meet:
“Hey (her name), it’s Cole (and maybe throw in something witty)”
OR
“Hi (her name), it’s Arnold. I’m glad Brenda introduced us.”
These texts are simple and to the point. Contact her right away to make sure she remembers you and knows you’re interested. Life moves fast these days, someone else may charm her silly even within that one hour of you both going back to your lives and she may never get to be blown away by your charm. Text her immediately and she won’t think you’re just friend/bro material.
Do not send these texts:
“Hey, it’s Cole. From the party last week. What’s up?”
While it’s not a bad/rude text, it implies that it’s been well over a couple of hours since you met. Even if she remembers you, she won’t be impressed that it took you that long to realize you’re interested in her.
2. Always Start the Text Conversation
Have you been staring at your conversation screen with her wondering what you should type to get a conversation going with her? Everyone has at some point. You may have even typed up a few drafts you keep deleting because they just don’t sound… right.
A guy should always start the conversation with a girl he’s interested in, at least until she’s comfortable enough to hit you up unprompted.
Knowing how to start a text conversation with a girl stops you from stressing about whether the text sounds right or not. Knowing how to start a text conversation lets you get straight to chatting! Regardless of whether you want to come across as playful, intellectual, flirty, or funny, text conversation starters are handy. Besides, getting a random text from you will let her know you’re thinking about her, which scores you points.
Pro Tip: Type in what you first thought of her when you first met her, but not in a cheesy way. It’s the one thing she’ll want out of the way so she knows where to place you; buddy or potential partner. Make sure it’s a compliment, but say it indirectly. And then follow it right up with a random question.
You could type:
“You have a really pretty smile.” And then, “What is one thing you find really annoying about society?”
OR:
“I thought you’d blow me off when I approached you, but you were surprisingly sweet. Guess I was just nervous” And then, “How do you feel about lunch tomorrow?”
OR:
“You have great energy” (you already like her, so you obviously love her energy. But you can’t tell her “You’re so great” or “I think you’re great”. You want to compliment her vibe so you don’t come across as unable to express yourself. And you don’t want to sound creepy either by going too far with it.)
And then you type in a silly question. Something playful but also one that allows you to get to know her better, and that lets her feel easy enough to talk about herself and let you in a little. Like, “What would you, bias as you can, say is your favourite thing about yourself?”
Add an emoji to go with it so she knows you’re absolutely being playful.
An open-ended question will get you to know her better. They’re meant to be the beginning of a longer conversation. And with some follow-up questions, you can steer the discussion in any direction.
Do not text her saying:
“What are you up to?”
9 times out of 10, the answer to that question is “Not much, you?” Not exactly a fascinating discussion. Give her room to express her thoughts on something. It’s more likely that she’ll find herself thinking about you.
If you must ask her what she’s up to, tell her what you’re up to first. But find the most interesting angle to say it. If you’re just chilling listening to music, send her the song or playlist you’re listening to first, tell her what mood it puts you in or what mood brought you to play that song/playlist before asking her what she’s upto.
More often than not, you won’t even have to ask her. The conversation may flow from what you’re doing to wherever and there may not even be need of her to tell you what she’s up to.
3. Keep the conversation from going stale
When you’ve been texting her regularly, there comes a time when you can’t think of anything to chat or text her about. She’ll feel it. Even if it’s been only a week or a few days, having nothing else to say to her could make her lose interest in you.
So how do you keep your conversations from going stale? As long as you’ve been listening to everything she’s said to you about herself, you now know her well enough to know what topics to bring up within her areas of interest. You don’t have to think about it too much.
Don’t let texting become a chore.
Remind Her of Something That Happened When You Met
Something funny or truly interesting, not just anything.
“Even with Brenda’s neighbor calling the police, meeting you was the most interesting part of the night.”
Questions To Ask A Girl Over Text to keep her talking to you:
What are the best questions to text a girl so that you’re always ready with something interesting to talk about? The answer is choosing questions that suit your goal. Are you trying to flirt, get personal, or make her laugh?
Whatever it is, be truly curious to know her answer because that way, you’ll respond with as much enthusiasm as her.
Even the best questions backfire if you don’t show interest in her response.
The best questions to text a girl so the conversation keeps flowing:
“When was the last time you got in trouble?”
“What are you most attracted to?”
“What do you think is the most disappointing thing about growing up?”
These keep conversations interesting because they give so much to talk about. Be ready to offer your own answers to these questions, too!
Questions to avoid texting a girl you’ve just met:
“Do you like movies?”
“Are you into music?”
Music and movies are great chat topics, but these are terrible questions.
The yes or no format doesn’t give her anywhere to take the conversation. She’ll very likely be irked and stop talking to you all together.
OR
The best Morning Text…
Sending the girl you’re interested in the best morning text for her to wake up to lets her know that she was the first thing you thought of that day. It gives you the chance to start a convo that could run all day.
The problem with morning texts is that the same couple of phrases tend to get recycled too much. Send her a text with some originality and she’ll know you put thought into it. Show, don’t say, that you care about her day by mentioning things you know she has going on. You want her to feel valued and cared for BY YOU.
My boyfriend sends me the same couple of phrases each morning, but he uses a different emoji to mean a different pet name each time. Sometimes, if you try too hard, she can tell. And here’s only so many ways you can say “good morning”. Find your way of making that simple text personal.
The best morning texts to send a girl you like:
“The best of luck with your exam today! You’re gonna do great!”
“I hope your meeting goes well this morning. I can’t wait to hear about it.”
These texts show that you are invested in her personal life just as much as she is. She’ll know that you care and that you’re cheering her on. In fact, they may just drive the convo for you.
But if you want to get really personal and have her feel comfortable with you, send her a morning text that’s something like this:
“I just woke up. How was your sleep?”
“Wake up, sleepy head”
“I really don’t want to go in to work today. Is it Saturday yet?”
“Dream about anything interesting (popcorn emoji)”
OR
The Best Good Night Texts To Send The Girl You Like
The thoughts and feelings we have before bed sink in overnight and carry over to the next day. They can even affect how well we sleep and make our way into our dreams. Don’t you want her to remember that she had a the best dream about you?
That’s why it’s important that what you text her beore she closes her eyes to sleep fosters feelings of affection. Craft a message that gives her a rush of positive feelings, and she’ll go to bed with you on her mind.
The best evening texts to send a girl you like:
“I enjoyed your company today. Sleep well.”
You want to be sweet. Not gross and overly ambitious. She may not have enjoyed your company, but at least you’re not putting pressure on her to keep talking to you. You’re allowing her space to decide if she’ll want to text you again when she wakes up. So compliment her, and keep the text brief. Let her sleep. And don’t expect her to wish you a good night.
A girl doesn’t want to read these texts before going to sleep, especially from a guy she just met:
“Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”
“I hope you dream about me tonight.”
Unless she trusts you, she doesn’t want you telling her what to do, especially in her sleep!
4. Girls love it when you use their names in a convo
If you immediately text her using a ‘pet name’ instead of her actual name, she’ll probably think one of two things:
“Whoa! We just met, and he’s calling me ‘baby’? Freak!”
“Did he call me ‘baby’? Gross”
Look, it’s not mandatory, but if you NEVER use her name at all, she’ll take any flirty text you send her as one you send to every other girl.
That’s not the first impression you want to give. If you just met her, use her actual name.
PS: I recommend using her name until you go on an actual date. After you develop a relationship, feel free to use pet names.
Do NOT EVER text a girl you just met saying:
“Hey baby/honey/sugar/sweetheart.”
5. Use Proper Grammar
The further girls get from high school, the more upsetting it is when men still text like they’re in high school. You know what I’m talking about… bad grammar, misspelled words, and useless abbreviations (‘2’ instead of ‘to’, ‘y’ instead of ‘why’, etc.). Don’t make a mistake and think that grammar doesn’t play a part in texting.
Here’s the thing: It takes hardly any time to type full words instead of abbreviations. It won’t take you a minute to double-check for mistakes before sending a text. It’s not a “texting style” if you have terrible grammar. Bad spelling/grammar makes her think that you’re too lazy to do those things.
So re-form the the best first impression by using proper grammar when you text.
6. ‘Mirror’ Her
The secret code for how a girl expects to be texted is right there in her texts. Follow her example on these things:
How much to use emojis (too many, if she’s not using them as much, will overwhelm her)
How long texts should be
How fast you should answer her (does she text back every 5 minutes, every hour, etc.)
How much she likes teasing/poking fun at each other
Letting her set the tone is the easiest way to meet her expectations.
Text her like this until you figure out her pace and tone:
“Hi (her name), how was the concert last night?”
“Where was that awesome Italian place you mentioned?”
Until you know her tone, these are the types of texts you should send. They’re purposeful, interesting, and fundamental. These texts also give her a chance to respond accordingly.
Try not to text a girl you just met like:
“Hey (her name)!!!! How was the concert?!? 😀 😀 ”
“Sup gurrrrl………just thinkin’ bout you..”
The tone is too casual, uses too many emojis, and has too much punctuation. Now: if she starts texting you like this, feel free to match her tone. It’s only okay to do it if she does the same.
8. When You’re Texting A Girl You Like, Have A Purpose About It
The whole purpose of back-and-forth texting is to get a date, right? So don’t send random texts that don’t help you achieve that purpose. Otherwise, she might lose interest in you. Or worse, think that you’re just friendly instead of flirting.
Now, here’s some examples of the best, purposeful reasons to text:
To compliment her (makes her want to date you)
To entertain her (makes her think you’re flirting)
To ask her for a date
But remember: Purposeful texting, is meaningless unless you actually get to ask her out.
The best texts to send:
“Guess what just happened…”
- This is an excellent text to send a girl you like because then you’re bringing something to the table, giving her something to work with toward deciding if you’re interesting or not. It’s great when guts notice things around them and form opinions or views about them all on their own, AND choose to share it with a girl they like. This gives you lost of points.
“Can I call real quick?”
- If she doesn’t mind talking over the phone, she may be flattered that you want to spend time listening to her voice. Some girls hate phone calls.
Do not send these texts:
“I was just thinking about you”
- Because then she’s thinking, “So?” or “And…?”
“It’s crazy cold today, right?”
_ This is a great random text to send if you about to make her laugh to warm her up. Otherwise, it sounds like you’re suggesting hooking up. She’ll think you’re a perv. So follow it up with something really funny.
“What’s up?”
- Honestly, every time a man texts me this, I delete and block his number. Girls find it rude when you reach out and expect them to entertain you, because it just sounds like you’re bored and want someone to entertain you.
9. It’s Okay If She Has To Wait To Hear From You
Girls usually don’t want you to text back immediately every time. But it’s not because she wants you to play ‘hard-to-get’. It’s because she wants someone with a job, friends, hobbies, and a life outside of pursuing her.
Basically, be someone with better things to do than sit around texting. Don’t answer back the moment she texts you each time she texts you, but only because you’re busy with your life.
The best texts to send:
“A buddy took us bungee jumping today!”
(Doesn’t have to be bungee jumping. Anything that would go on your stories or status).
“Sorry I haven’t responded in a while. Work is crazy today.”
Anyone who’s not crazily needy will love seeing that you put the phone down to have fun or to focus harder on your work.
When it’s natural, you can double text and still go a few hours before texting her back without having to play any of those dumb text-no-text games.
10. Pictures Break The Monotony
Like I said, girls want to experience your world with you, and sending exciting pictures is the perfect way to show her your world.
But sometimes,
“I’m bored. What are you doing?” followed by a photo of you just chilling is the perfect text to send a girl you like.
You don’t always have to be having fun, or in an upbeat state of mind. You can be honest that you’re bored and need a pick me up. She’ll appreciate that you think of her as someone you can go to for that.
She may be bored too, and would love some company doing nothing.
11. Compliment Her
Figuring out how to compliment a girl can be tricky. You want to be original and flirty, but you also don’t want to come across as creepy.
The best compliments for girls make them feel unique. They show that you recognize the things that make her one of a kind. Use your compliments to demonstrate how thoughtful and observant you can be.
The best texts to send:
“I’ve never seen someone make friends so easily.”
“I love the way your mind works.”
See how specific these texts are?
You don’t want to send a girl you just met a text saying:
“You’re so funny!”
- While she may well be, unless you follow it up by something more specific about what you found funny, she’ll lose interest. This compliment is lame on its own. It has to be accompanied by something real and particularly funny you noticed about her.
“You looked really hot yesterday.”
There’s nothing wrong with telling her that she’s attractive or funny. However, simply telling her she looked hot sounds arrogant. Of course she knows she looked hot. You’re not the only one who noticed her looking hot. But what about it?
Caution: Although girls like to be told how gorgeous they are, they might think that you’re only after their physical beauty if you overuse it. Make sure to let her know that you see beyond that by complimenting her personality.
12. Girls Really Respond To Kind, Sweet Words
Lots of men think girls expect them to control their emotions. Kind and gentle men do get the girl.
Sweet things to text a girl come naturally if you don’t fight it.
Don’t rely only on teasing her to keep her attention.
Girls eventually think men are cowards when they constantly hide their feelings behind teasing. She wants you to ‘man up, and not be afraid to tell her she’s pretty, smart, etc. . And she’ll probably compliment you back. Teasing her gently is a great way to develop a friendship, but you can’t rely on teasing her to keep her attention.
The best texts to send:
“You might be the craziest girl I know… but when you’re that cute, you’re allowed to be a little crazy.”
See how this text is playful, yet complimentary? This text sounds like a confident guy sent it, and women will love it.
“You haven’t seen Star Wars?! That’s unacceptable. I’m going to have to show you what you’re missing.”
You tease her gently about not seeing a movie, but don’t call her stupid, lame, or boring because of it. Plus, you set up date ideas for her!
Do not send these texts:
“You’re cute… for a brunette. I usually go for blondes.”
“We’re having dinner tomorrow night. Come on, I know you’re way too lame to have any better plans. ;)”
These texts are incredibly insulting. When you put down her looks, or give her direct orders, she’ll almost definitely be turned off .
13. Your Great Qualities? Show Her – Don’t Tell Her.
I understand you want to show her how witty, well-read, generous, and wealthy you are.
But here’s the thing: She doesn’t want to be told any of those things over text. Bragging on yourself like that only makes you sound arrogant. And very few girls find arrogant men attractive. Instead of telling her straight-out how awesome you are, show her in person.
Use texting to charm her into going on a date with you. Then you can show her how awesome you are, instead of outright bragging on yourself.
The best texts to send:
“I’d love to take you to dinner.”
“I finished my book last week and can’t find another good one. Any recommendations?”
“I love dogs too! My favorite weekends are the ones I spend helping out at the dog shelter.”
These texts imply that you can afford dinner, like to read, and volunteer with animals. But notice that you put the focus on her instead of bragging about yourself.
14. Ask Her Out… After No More Than Two Days Of Texting
Girls assume you don’t have any real interest if you’re only ever texting, but you’re not asking them out. So don’t let her write you off before you even have a chance. Get to the point. Ask her out.
The best texts to send:
“How does lunch on Friday sound?”
“I love chatting with you. Can we meet up on Saturday, around six-ish?”
Try to be clear that you want to see her in person.
Quick Note: You’ll pay, if it’s a date and you want a future with her. Otherwise, you’ll let her pay her half when she insists to during the meet.
15. Just Don’t Tell Her You’re Taking Her Out
There’s a difference between telling her you’re taking her out, and asking her out.
You tell a girl you’re taking her out if you’ve gotten super close and she won’t take offence, but usually, within a day or two of knowing each other, unless it’s your natural energy and she finds it attractive, don’t TELL her you’re taking her out. Ask.
The only people allowed to tell a girl they’re taking her out are her girl friends, her brother, her dad or someone really really close to her, and usually as a favour to get her mind off of something.
So you’ll want to ask a girl out on a date the way we talked about earlier.
Here are more examples:
“Would you like to have dinner this weekend?”
“You said you really like tacos… where’s your favorite taco place? I can take you this weekend. :)”
See how both texts make it clear that you want a date, but don’t tell her what the plan is?
Do not send these texts:
“I’m taking you to dinner on Saturday night. Sushi at Nama. I’ll pick you up at 8.”
-That’s what her bestfriend (guy) can say. Not you.
“You’ll be out this weekend? Great! Where can I meet you?”
These texts are way too bold. They assume that she’s ok with sushi, that she’s free at that time, or that she wants you to join her while she’s out. Be a gentleman and give her the final say.
16. How to Text A Girl After She Didn’t Text Back
Sometimes a girl just needs a break from her social life, and that may include you. When she’s gone a couple of days without texting you back, it may mean that she needs space.
Let her have it.
She’s only human, and women are always drowning in all kinds of emotions, they can be overwhelming. Let her breathe.
Better yet, send her memes or music suggestions she might like, just to let her know you care and that she doesn’t have to say anything, but that you’ll wait for her to recover.
Sometimes, the reason she hasn’t texted back is because she has a lot going on in her life and she just can’t prioritize you. And that should be fine. Don’t be possessive. She’s not your hostage. Even if she’s finally agreed to be your girlfriend.
If she doesn’t like you, she’ll probably tell you flat-out. Most girls just say it like it is, because they don’t like being strung along either. If you’re direct about liking her, she’ll be direct about not liking you back the same way you like her.
The issue is, when a guy is not clear about his feelings for a girl, especially over text, she very likely will ghost because she doesn’t owe you any explanations. When you tery to make plans with her, and she has no idea what your intentions are with her, she’ll subtly let you know she’s not interested. So don’t take offense when she doesn’t fit you into her schedule, or cancel plans at the last minute, or when she does not text back.
She’s not into you. Move on.
You could text her:
“I haven’t heard from you in a few days… is everything okay?”
“I miss talking to you. Are we good?”
